Manager Parts: When Your Self-Improvement Journey Becomes a Hustle
Have you ever felt like the more you work on yourself, the more you find that needs fixing? Like personal growth has become another thing you’re hustling for?
Today, we’re exploring why that happens—how your self-improvement journey can get hijacked by manager parts—and how to reclaim it from a place of empowerment.
What is Internal Family Systems (IFS) and Manager Parts?
Internal Family Systems (IFS) is a therapeutic framework that views the mind as made up of different parts, each with its own role, intentions, and emotions. At the core of IFS is Self-energy—a calm, wise, and compassionate inner presence that can lead and heal these parts.
Manager parts are a category of protective parts in the IFS framework. They are proactive and strategic, working to maintain control, prevent emotional distress, and keep us functioning in the world. While their intentions are positive, they can sometimes push us into cycles of perfectionism, overworking, or relentless self-improvement, making growth feel like a never-ending hustle.
When Growth Becomes a Checklist
I’ve been called to growth many times throughout my life. In my late 20s, I felt this undeniable pull toward something deeper, something beyond the daily grind. So, I packed my bags and went to an ashram. I thought, This is it. This is where I’ll find the peace and clarity I’ve been looking for. I soaked in meditation, spirituality, silence… and for a while, it felt like I was finally doing something meaningful for my soul.
Then, in my 30s, my focus shifted completely—I poured myself into health and fitness. I was all in: CrossFit five days a week, clean eating, tracking macros, chasing PRs. I was stronger, fitter, disciplined. It gave me a sense of control, and I thought, Yes, this is who I’m meant to be. Healthy, dedicated, unstoppable.
And then… life happened. In my mid-30s, I was blindsided by the end of a relationship. It shook me to my core. The kind of heartbreak that makes you question everything. And that’s when it hit me: Oh… this isn’t just about my external world—my body, my routines, my achievements. It’s about what’s happening inside.
At first, that realization felt empowering. Like I’d unlocked a new level of growth. I dove headfirst into personal development—reading all the books, signing up for workshops, hiring coaches, journaling like my life depended on it. And for a while, it felt great. I felt like I was finally doing the work.
But somewhere along the way, growth turned into another checklist. Meditation? Check. Gratitude journal? Check. Inner child work? Check. The next course, the next coach, the next ‘fix.’ It was like I was collecting gold stars for my healing.
I thought, If I can just get it right—if I can heal the right way, stay in Self-energy all the time, figure out the perfect mindset—then I’ll finally feel enough. Then I’ll be safe from disappointment, heartbreak, failure.
But here’s what I didn’t realize at the time: it wasn’t growth that was the problem. It was the urgency behind it. The voice that whispered, You’re not there yet. You’re still not enough. Keep going. Do more.
What’s Happening Beneath the Surface: Manager Parts
This is where manager parts come in. Think of them as the overachievers, the perfectionists, the self-improvement hustlers. They’re the parts of you that say, Okay, let’s get it together. Let’s make a plan. Let’s control this. They love structure, checklists, routines—they thrive on having a strategy for ‘fixing’ whatever feels uncomfortable.
What Are They Protecting You From?
Their intention? It’s actually really good. They’re trying to keep you safe. They believe that if you stay ‘on track’—if you achieve enough, learn enough, improve enough—you’ll be protected from pain, rejection, or failure.
But underneath all that hustle is often a deeper belief whispering in the background… I’m not enough.
It’s sneaky because it doesn’t always show up as obvious self-doubt. Sometimes it sounds like relentless motivation: If I just work harder, achieve more, get this right—then I’ll feel secure. Then I’ll be worthy. Then I’ll finally be enough.
But what these manager parts are really protecting you from isn’t failure itself. It’s the feelings underneath failure—sadness that hasn’t been processed, loneliness that feels too vulnerable to sit with, fear of not being seen or loved as you are.
And here’s the thing—chasing the next goal, signing up for the next course, hustling for self-improvement… it’s often easier than pausing long enough to feel what’s beneath the surface.
Clarifying the Role of Manager Parts
Manager parts aren’t the problem. They’re not the enemy. In fact, they’ve been working incredibly hard on your behalf for a long time. They’re like that overzealous friend who’s just trying to help but doesn’t realize they’re actually making things more stressful.
The issue isn’t that they exist—it’s when they’re running the show without the support of Self-energy. When these parts are in charge without guidance from your calm, centered core, growth stops feeling expansive and starts feeling like a burden.
Instead of growth feeling like liberation, it feels like another job. Another thing you’re not doing ‘right enough.’ Another way to prove your worth.
The Shift from Hustle to Harmony
So, if manager parts aren’t the problem, how do we work with them instead of against them? The answer isn’t to get rid of them—it’s to rebalance them with Self-energy. This is where your growth becomes truly empowering, not exhausting.
3 Key Practices to Rebalance
1. Pause and Notice the Urgency
The first step is simple but powerful: just notice. When you feel that rush of urgency—‘I have to sign up for this course right now,’ or ‘I need to fix this part of me ASAP’—pause. Take a breath. That urgency is a clue.
Ask yourself: What’s driving this feeling? Is this coming from a grounded, empowered place—or is it fueled by fear, perfectionism, or the belief that I’m not enough?
2. Get Curious: What’s Underneath?
After you’ve paused, the next step is to get curious. Imagine sitting down with that part of you that’s hustling. Not to scold it, but to understand it.
Ask gentle questions like: ‘What are you afraid will happen if I don’t keep pushing myself?’ or ‘What’s the worst-case scenario you’re trying to prevent?’
Often, you’ll find that underneath all that striving is something tender—a fear of being left behind, a sadness that hasn’t been acknowledged, or even a deep longing to feel seen and valued.
3. Lead with Self-Energy, Not Hustle
Now comes the most transformative part—leading with Self-energy. Instead of letting urgency or fear dictate your next move, ask: ‘What would this look like if it came from love, ease, and trust?’
Growth from Self-energy feels spacious, not pressured. It feels like an invitation, not an obligation.
Andrea Tessier is a Master Life Coach and IFS Practitioner who helps conscious leaders and visionaries break free from old patterns, access deeper self-trust, and step into Liberated Leadership. Through her work, she guides clients in transforming their inner world so they can lead their lives and businesses with clarity, alignment, and ease.
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