Navigating Life: The Purpose-Driven Educator
“He who has a Why to live for can bear almost any How.” — Nietzsche
Do you feel stuck, unmotivated, uninspired?
Do you question your role and purpose in life?
Do you often wonder if you are destined to do great things but aren’t clear on what they are?
Many of us sail blindly through life assuming at various points that we have reached our destination. People say they search for happiness - which seems to always be around the corner.
We spend so much of life preparing for the elusive happiness - doing the years of university or college, teacher training and internship, getting the teaching career, and moving up the ladder. And then many of us get there and wonder ‘this is it?’
The problem can be not knowing what we want or it can be that we are doing what someone else wants us to.
How do we find meaning and purpose in the day to day events of our lives and in our lives as a whole? What do you feel you were destined for?
“Life is not primarily a quest for pleasure, as Freud believed, or a quest for power, as Alfred Adler taught, but a quest for meaning. The greatest task for any person is to find meaning in his or her life.” - Viktor E. Frankl in A Man’s Search for Meaning
Searching for My Purpose
I grew up as the oldest child in a lower - middle class family in the Canadian Prairies. My parents worked really, really hard to ensure my brother and sister and I had it better than they did. They worked tirelessly at blue collar jobs, saving and carefully managing money so we had a world of opportunity never afforded to them.
As a child I often felt like they always said ‘no’ to fun and through the egoic eyes of a child I always felt I was missing out. I know now that this wasn't entirely true but it felt so at the time. It wasn’t until I was much older that I found a deep sense of gratitude for the choices my parents made for me.
I learned very early to do as I was told. My father's style was authoritative and my mother was quiet and controlled our ship in the background. They knew what was best and I shouldn’t question that. And I didn’t. I was afraid to. As a result, I developed strong perfectionist tendencies, I learned to keep quiet about what I wanted so I didn’t rock the boat and I learned that being too demanding meant not getting approval from my parents. Being what others wanted me to be kept me safe and I became the ‘good’ girl.
I let go of my own dreams, or maybe didn’t even learn to dream big because they were shot down with a “no” or the realism of “how are you going to do that?”. It felt like the wind was taken out of my sails again and again. Of course, my parents were trying their best with what they knew as well, but the imprint was left none the less.
Now I know it came from a place of love but my parents had planned where I would go to university - the local institution down the road. I even remember staying with one boyfriend too long because we had plans to travel Europe together and they didn’t want me to go alone.
The adaptive defence of ‘shapeshifting’ or people pleasing in many ways was reinforcing. My parents had saved enough money to help me with tuition for my first 4 years of local university. That was a huge head start in life that I am grateful for to this day. They supported my childhood dream of being a teacher, that I was great at, at the cost of silencing any other more risky dreams that crossed my mind.
And life flowed like this. I became a teacher, and slowly started making it my own. As I got older, feeling the need to break the chains from their tight grip, I fled overseas and found myself in a flourishing international teaching career that took me far, far away. I couldn't have known at the time that I was running from control rather than setting my own trajectory.
I got really really good at the teaching thing. Of course, I did. My perfectionism worked really well as a teacher, I could easily get caught up in other people's dreams and plans and tweak mine to be relatively similar. But I carried out the same belief system I developed growing up - I found myself floating around the globe like a ship without a navigation system, docking for a while before taking sail again. I sought my purpose in the approval of others.
Life worked really well. Until it didn’t. The highs of the next best travel destination or getting hired at the next best school finally took their toll. I felt stuck. Unmotivated. Uninspired. I wondered “What the hell am I doing?”
The source of my problems was making approval-seeking my purpose.
Through the important work on myself, I learned to accept, trust and love myself again and my life transformed from defeated to purposeful. By giving myself the approval I needed, I made wiser choices, formed better relationships and felt more at ease. Now I was ready to find my own mission.
“It’s hard to find your purpose when you are seeking approval of someone else.” - Christine Hassler
What does it mean to have a sense of purpose?
Purpose is the motivation that drives you toward a fulfilled life. It helps you to get the most from what you do and achieve, in the big and small moments, by prioritizing your life, right now. Purpose can be connected to your profession, but it doesn't have to be.
A sense of purpose arises so we can accomplish big things and is associated with greater physical and mental wellbeing. Purpose is also adaptive, in an evolutionary sense. It encourages the survival of the individual as well as the collective. Purpose is about what sets you apart from other people and also grows from our connection to others. When we feel we lack purpose, we may often also feel isolated and alone. Once you find your mission, you’ll find others traveling along with you, hoping to reach the same collaborative community. Your purpose brings you joy, fulfillment, ease. And can manifest in all areas of life.
By getting clear on your mission or purpose, the rest of life can begin to fall into place. The feeling of being in the flow with your purpose, that is the true meaning of fulfillment.
So how do we know what it is?
What were we put on this beautiful planet for?
These are questions that inspired a year of personal inquiry for me.I had already searched the world. I had already searched in relationship. The only place left to look was within. And do you know what I found out?
I already knew.
You do too.
Conditioning and old thought patterns have been deeply ingrained so that you think you don’t know what it is you want. But your heart knows, your soul knows, your body holds this wisdom when you are ready to listen.
The Purpose Driven Classroom
You know the teacher who has it all together? Her lessons are seamless and engaging, she has an organized classroom, she manages parents and administration with ease. She’s figured out her boundaries, goes with the flow yet stands up for what she believes in. We all know at least one educator like this. Have you wondered what she is doing that you don’t? What she has figured out that you haven’t?
She has figured out her purpose.
It’s easy to feel stuck, frustrated and unmotivated to do great work in our classroom and school communities when we lack a sense of purpose. ‘Doing it for the kids’ is a worthy mission many great educators live by, however, if we aren’t full ourselves, teachers are more likely to depleting reserves of energy and burnout.
A purposeful classroom happens as a direct result of a brave educator clear on what she is here to do. With purpose, the multitude of decisions we make as educators feel easier. With purpose, we know the value of collaboration, community and creativity within the walls of a school. With purpose, we know who we are being, where we are going and why.
How to create a happier and more purposeful life and teaching career:
- Build a relationship with your whole self - body, mind and spirit
- Become aware of limiting beliefs, do the healing work so you can move forward.
- Visualize yourself and your life if you were living on purpose. What does it look like, feel like? This will help you determine where you are going and how to get there.
- Discover and align with your values - these are clues to your purpose too.
- Look back at your life. Look for themes, trends, habits and patterns. What are your biggest life lessons? They are guiding you as well.
- Meditate and ask your higher Self - What is my purpose? What do I need to know to discover my purpose? Trust the first thing that comes.
- Ask: How can I serve?
I know now in my bones that my purpose is to educate, to connect and to heal. I connect with educators with a similar mission and share with them tools to heal so they can continue to do beautiful work and change lives. I work 1:1 coaching teachers to support their healing and growth. I connect groups and communities of people because this is what we need and deserve. My purpose drives my work, my relationships and my life. Living in alignment here there is fulfillment and joy.
“At any moment, man must decide, for better or for worse, what will be the monument of his existence.” - Viktor E. Frankl