Let’s Normalize Being Not Okay

Tired. Exhausted. Foggy. Frustrated. Annoyed. Depressed. Disgusted. Sad.
Overwhelmed. Confused. Anxious. Sleepy. Disillusioned. Empty. Angry.

When I ask teachers how they are doing these are really common responses. 

I see you, I feel you and all of you is welcome here. 

Most teachers who have been feeling the tumultuous feelings for quite some time now are sick and tired of being not okay. I get it. It’s exhausting. It’s hard to not feel like yourself. And you’ve likely tried all the things to feel better, to get yourself out of it but none of them seem to be working. 

Have you tried being okay with not being okay? 

No?

Being sad/mad/frustrated/exhausted ... is hard enough without making ourselves wrong about it. 

In our pursuit of wellbeing and wholeness, Emotional health has been so overlooked. 

What I’ve come to experience is that emotion is Energy in Motion. (E-Motion) 

Overtime we’ve categorized emotions as good or bad, right or wrong. So anytime there is a ‘bad’ emotion we judge ourselves, we think something is wrong with us, that we are bad and we layer on the guilt and shame. This simply isn’t true.

When we judge or shame ourselves for how we are feeling, when we aren’t okay with not being okay, we shove down the emotion and it has no outlet, nowhere to go. 

The truth is that these emotional storms come in for many reasons - to clear things out, show us our strength, reflect our resilience, bring us closer to who we are and what we want and desire. 

Furthermore, emotions aren’t who we are but rather an experience we are having. Let’s take the judgement off of it. Being a fully alive human means we get to feel it all. This is what we are here to do. To feel. 

Being okay with being not okay doesn’t mean you walk around school having angry outbursts at colleagues or the photocopier. It doesn’t mean you have a melt down in front of your class (I’ve done that - it sucks - this happens when you shove down the feels for so long they have no choice to come up when you least expect it.) I also doesn’t mean telling your principal or assistant what you really think of them. These are all reactions we have when we haven’t processed our emotions in a healthy way. 

So how do we normalize not being okay? 

Awareness 

Get more and more attentive to what you are feeling on a daily, or moment to moment basis.

There is no need to understand it or name or put a story behind it. Naming emotions can be helpful and just being aware of the sensation in the body is enough.

Acceptance 

You get to accept what you are feeling. What we usually do is minimize how we feel or compare our situations to others. There is no need to put meaning on the emotion you are experiencing. You just get to accept that this is how you are feeling right now, that it won’t always feel this way and this is your experience right now.   

Allow it 

Sit in the discomfort of the emotion. We are soooooo trained to not want to be uncomfortable... We reach for the phone, we start planning our grocery list, we grab a treat without thinking.  Being with the discomfort is the healing. It’s saying to parts of us with complete honesty - I see you, I feel you, and you have a right to be here. Emotions, just like us, want to be acknowledged and know that they matter. 

Release it

Feeling a feeling doesn’t mean moving in and building a house there. 

The true mastery of emotional processing happens when we are alone or with a supportive loved one, therapist or coach who can see us through the fullness of the feeling. It means riding the wave of the energy in motion from start to finish. 

I’ve learned to make a ritual out of it. If it’s a big one I get someone to watch my dog. I do this in my bedroom, I prepare myself with a stuffy, some kleenex, a glass of water, my journal and I let go. 

The necessary piece here is to speak to yourself in a loving and compassionate way for the duration of the release. Not judging, not analyzing, not criticizing. “I love you. Let it out. This is welcome. I’ve got you.”

What's on the other side of accepting we are not okay?

Relief

Rejuvenation

Rest

Spaciousness

Compassion

Openheartedness

Curiosity

Passion

Purpose

Inspiration

Wonder

Fulfillment 

A final word on being okay with not being okay.

 Trauma happens when we don’t talk about or process our feelings and emotions as they are happening. When emotions are judged, criticized or ‘fixed’ they don’t have a place to go and are shoved down and get repressed and we have a hard time moving forward. 

Emotions are a vital part of the human experience. Our emotional body is separate from our thoughts. Emotion is not just a function of the mind or created by thoughts, rather it is energy that needs to be expressed. 

Emotional intelligence involves having a deep understanding of what emotions are, how they need to be expressed, and moving out of recycling feelings so the energy in motion can truly be released. We all get to claim our emotions and make them all okay. Without this energy gets stuck in the body, likely manifesting in financial blocks, frustration, lack of fulfillment, low self-worth, physical ailments and disease. 

In the Burnout Prevention Formula I am teaching teachers how to move through being not okay and into a thriving life inside and outside the classroom. Through coaching, accountability, strategy and support teachers are feeling the feels and moving past them and into the life they envisioned for themselves. If you are ready not to do more, but to do it differently, I’m here for you. To see if the Burnout Prevention Formula is right for you, book your complimentary clarity call here: https://consciousclassrooms.as.me/claritycall.